Bird Watching

Nov 18, 2015

Mal said “Sounds like a deviate to me.”

So I told him that in civilized talk the bloke was a hornythologist.

Mal responded with “Ok, a religious deviate.”

Big John called us both uneducated morons. He explained the word was ornithologist or in plain

language, a birdwatcher.

Stretch said he used to do some of that down the local swimming pool until one day his missus

caught him.

“I still walk with a bit of a limp sometimes.”he said.

“Well,” this birdwatcher chap said,” I would appreciate your help looking at the great variety of

species around here. What about tomorrow morning?”

After a muttered discussion we said OK and the next day met just after dawn.

Being normally denizens of the darker hours we were amazed at the sounds around us.

Harold (the twitcher) said it was a pied butcher bird whose bell­like tones rang beautifully across

the water.

Then the kookaburras started.

From here try to use your imaginations as I describe what we heard.

“Hah,hah,hah. Who do you think you are?” They croaked at the butcher bird. “Joan flamin


A magpie replied “No, that's not singing. Wait until mating season and I'll show you real singing.

And if you don't like it you'll get a real head pecking!”

When we reached the Club the gulls were lined up at the windows overlooking the dining room.

“Cor,cor look at that loverly bit a bacon.”

“Yere, wouldn't I like to get among them chips”

“Albert, stop ogling that young gull she 's half your age – hussy!”

“Don't you point your beak at me like that Gladys or I'll rip yer bleeding wings orf ,” ­ and so on.

Down on the water the wood ducks cackled “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell some one who cares.”

Two pelicans are sitting on the pontoons with a Murray magpie shrieking at them.

“Manners! Can't you put your wing over your mouth when you belch? And for goodness sake use

a mouth freshener. Your breath smells like a dead carp.”

Then Mal's phone rang – his missus. “Where are you. It's nearly dinner time. I hope you haven't

been off watching those birds again!”

I told him now would not be the best time for him to start telling the truth.

So he didn't!

Author - Grandpabrian

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